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posted on Feb 21, 2008

Why did I jump in when I know I can’t swim?

It’s 3 am and I’m about to lose everything . . .

My car . . . the place I stay . . . I only have enough food for two days.

Thank God Ramen Noodles are only 15 cents and a box of crackers $1.50 . . .

I reach out my hand for help only to see an ocean of people reaching out like me.

I scream; “Help me!  I can’t swim!  Please save me!”

Then I look over and see the single mother pregnant with another crying for help . . .

The family who moved into their dream home and are now losing it crying for help . . .

The father of three who spent all his money on hospital bills for the one that’s very ill crying for help . . .

The disabled woman who can’t afford to live off her small disability check anymore crying for help . . .

The college student who can’t pay their tuition, but has the desire to learn crying for help . . .

The former business executive that just lost his job and can’t find another crying for help . . .

The talented youth who moved to a big city on a dream, but now can’t afford a bus ticket home crying for help . . .

The retired teacher who spent years in service, but now can’t pay their gas bill crying for help . . .

And so on . . . and so on . . . and so on . . .

I put my hand down, Maybe I should just drown because after all I’m just one woman who jumped in knowing I couldn’t swim . . .

My story is simple . . . let’s call me Jane . . .

See Jane dream . . .

Jane runs after her dream . . .

Jane meets Sam who dreams big too . . .

Sam says, “let’s cross the ocean to the land where dreams grow wings . . .”

Jane responds, “but I can’t swim?”

Sam says, “don’t worry.  Someone will bring us a boat.  Trust me.”

Jane says, “I’ll always be stuck on the land of no opportunity if I don’t try.”

Jane jumps in the water.

Four months later Sam’s boat hasn’t come and you can only tread water for so long . . .

She sees Sam doing his best to hold on too and he tries to encourage Jane. . .

Jane is now facing reality . . .

“Sam is a big dreamer like me . . . with no boat . . . just the promise of one . . .”

Jane begins to drown.

Jane asks for help on the internet.

A man responds to her internet cry for help and Jane feels hopeful;

Until he says, “Just give me all your information, including your bank account . . .Then I will send you two boats . . . . All you have to do is put both boats in your name and send me one back . . .Then you can keep the other boat for free!”

See Jane get very annoyed.

She sees the holes in his boat and wonders why he would scam a woman already drowning.

See Jane realize life is hard while she starts to tread water again, hoping only in her God . . .

There are people out there who can help . . . but how do they pick from so many drowning people?

Anyway, who can say that once we are rescued . . .  we won’t jump in again? 

I’m posting this with the reality that Superman/woman is not out there waiting to rescue me from the bad situation I put myself in; but at least I can ask.  Here’s what happened.  I left my job in September to work for a man with a small entertainment business.  We had been working on music project together (which is still in process) and I was impressed with his talent. 

He was robbed the first week I started and the thief took his recording equipment worth thousands of dollars.   I decided to stay working for him, because he is brilliant when it comes to production and I believe in him.  I received one check in October (that’s when I paid Septembers rent) and haven’t been paid since . . . we are both struggling. 

He keeps telling me money is coming, but so far . . . well it hasn’t.   I haven’t paid my rent since October ($2,000 past due including this month), car bill ($1,800 past due), car insurance, credit cards, cell phone (it’s been cut off now for weeks), etc.  My credit went from okay to very bad.  My bank account is overdrawn (from my car company trying to withdraw funds that were not there . . . $30 x2) and I have $4 to my name.   

This is a shot in the dark because I know America is struggling right now and like I said . . . many have there hands out asking for help right now.  I can prove everything I’m telling you and would appreciate it if you can offer me assistance.  I only have until the end of this month before I am evicted and sooner than that I’ll be without transportation. 

Thanks for reading this.

Categories: GRANTS, financial help, free money, Rent, CAR, transportation, DEBT, government grants, BILLS, eviction, help with bills, help with rent, emergency, cash grants, drowning in debt, Information & Referral, I Need Help Paying My Rent, Poetic Expression of Need, I Need Help With My Bills, Help a Starving Artist
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Comments... (4)

MOTHERLY LOVE1
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4. MOTHERLY LOVE1 posted on Mar 30, 2008

Hello, I just had to reply, I read this letter and it made me cry. I have gone through pretty much everything you've been through. I'm still going through it. Maybe somehow we can help each other even if it's to share stories or refer each other to places to try to get help.

 

Sincerely, Laurie a new friend if you so choose

 

 

 

 

RarePoetry
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3. RarePoetry posted on Feb 23, 2008
 in response to Soul~ Jer ~ Girl...   

I appreciate your comment.  I want to publish some of my works, but it's not as easy as it sounds.  Anyway, I will never stop trying.  I wish I could help you out as well.  One day . . . things will be different.

Soul~ Jer ~ Girl
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2. Soul~ Jer ~ Girl posted on Feb 22, 2008

I wish I could do something to help you out... i myself am in a bad situation financially... Your writing is very nice and i Just wanted to say that.. and to say that you should look into publishing your poems... I know that if I were to come across a book of poetry by you, I would indeed be interested in buying a copy...

Good luck to you and I shall keep you in my prayers..

RarePoetry
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1. RarePoetry posted on Feb 21, 2008
 in response to Marlene...   

Thank you for your encouragement and advice.  All of your tips are very helpful and taken to heart.  I do enjoy writing and performing, however steady work in these areas are challenging.  I plan on getting a second job as a sub teacher in a couple of week here in Southern California..

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